Tuesday, 16 July 2013

What I Have Learnt From Cosmo

Reading this month's Cosmo has left me in no doubt as to why some people thing women are the dumber sex. I know it's meant to be entertaining (and so is this, so don't hate on me Cosmo fans, I spent £3.60 on it!!) so I thought I would let you into the things I have learnt:

Jason Derulo broke his neck and Rachel Bilson was in a coma, I did not know that, thank you Cosmo

That apparently it is weak to apologise to your employees even if you know you are wrong

That it's not only me that can't do beauty in the sun and ends up with sunburn and extreme tan lines 

That a guy can't admit to his wife that he's an escort but still finds the time to anonymously write an article about for a popular woman's magazine. You are married with a child, that woman deserves better or it's fiction, I'm guessing the later

That some women find really pale man posing naked with guitars really attractive and some women (or just myself) really don't! 

That you need to "fall in love with yourself" in an emotional sense but also look fabulous in double denim and perfectly sculpted brows, while fighting for make up that doesn't test on animals and learn to give yourself a double orgasm with one hand!!

That the way to get a pay rise at work is to tell your boss how good you are, help them when they are stressed, volunteer for jobs that are crap (and apparently even if you do a poor job they will appreciate the "effort" you put in) and let them know how your "core values" align

That curvy girls can wear denim (no shit Sherlock, they can damn wear well whatever they please)

That Gwyneth Paltrow loves burgers, it's all about moderation darling

And no women's magazine is complete without my horoscope!

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