Sunday, 30 March 2014


I am fully aware that "Blogiversary" is not an actual word but all you bloggers out there will know exactly what I am talking about and most of you will be able to work this one out - I'm honestly not that cryptic or witty!

This time last year I started this little place on the web and while I can't exactly say it's been a whole year of blogging, that still doesn't change the fact that exactly twelve months ago today I typed my first little post out. This post was about a boy who is known as Mr Complicated and he inspired me to start this blog and you never heard anymore about him but I will let you know that Mr Complicated popped up again throughout the year and it was complicated and simple all at once. 

Well Mr Complicated text me out of the blue a few months after our non date and if we are honest we all know there is nothing complicated about what a guy wants when he randomly texts a girl and to be honest to start off with I was pretty convinced I wanted nothing to do with this crap. But I text him back.

And this stupid cycle kept repeating itself every few weeks and while it didn't make me feel bad it didn't make me feel good but at the time I didn't think this was a problem. How can you think that just because something doesn't make you miserable it's the right thing to do? I dunno but that was my logic. Every time this cycle repeated I thought I would get something different out of it but you know what? Stupidity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results. It isn't going to happen.

However this morning Mr Complicated text me again and no matter how many times I tell myself this exact story I am still tempted to say hi. In a way I am hoping that sharing this will hopefully make me stay away but I'm an idiot when it comes to men so probably not!!

Saturday, 29 March 2014

Friday, 28 March 2014

Being a Young Professional

I have been working in my current job for over three years. To start off with I described my job as "semi professional" - mainly because I found it hard to believe at 18 years old I could qualify to have a professional career - however after many conversations I accepted I was a grown up with a real job. 

I didn't think that being a young professional would include:

- Drying my hair under a hand dryer. Popping out to get lunch in a torrential downpour with my new short hair makes me look like I'm one of the members from Take That in the mid 90's trying out the wet look. However these hand dryers do not have a swivel functions so I have to crouch under it.

- Sending smiley faces and sentences with more than one exclamation point in a professional email.

- Answering a colleague's phone and knocking literally everything off her desk with her phone and then proceeding to drop her phone on the floor. This was only made worse by the fact that my boss sits opposite this desk who, after I hung up, just looked at me and said "smooth"

- Being told by a client that I sounded weird and needed to "man up" after explaining I was recovering from a chest infection

But it does, and all these fun and games happened just this week. Yeah I am totally ready for it to be the weekend

Wednesday, 26 March 2014

Midweek Musings

This was meant to be called "Monday Musings" but in the past two days I have worked for 21 hours and slept for 23 hours so yeah that didn't happen. The medicine I am currently taking makes me very sleepy and I really don't like it. It makes me feel like my brain isn't connected to my body (some people would describe this as nothing new). This is what I am blaming for it taking me literally all day to think of the alliterative "Midweek Musings". Every blogger knows that alliteration is your best friend!!

I watched Midsummer Murders yesterday (ok I actually watched 20 minutes before I fell asleep) but seriously how many people can die in a tiny collection of villages before you think that possibly too many murderers live close to you? And if I committed a murder you wouldn't get away with it in Midsummer because they always catch you.

I think I have mild cabin fever. I need to do something other than work, do uni work or sleep but I have so much to do of all three that at the moment that's not really an option. Things I want to do include going to the Natural History Museum in London and do some sewing. Yeah I'm a rockstar!!

I am pretty excited to be taking part in the A-Z challenge. I was hoping to have more scheduled ready for posting but so far I have one!! I am blaming the fact that writing is bloody difficult when your brain literally isn't working to full capacity. I am mainly going to use the next month to tell you some funny stories and have a little rant about things. I wish I had more posts scheduled but the only draft posts I have are ones I'm not sure I'm ready to put out there in the big blog world.

I am currently watching some iguanas fight on tv, it's pretty hardcore, and I kinda want to cry as the loser iguana now has to make a really scary climb and she is going to have a baby soon and life's not fair. Yeah codeine makes me mental!!

I miss the gym - I never thought I would say this but yeah I miss it. I want to go back but breathing really hurts at the moment so not something I am feeling up to.

Also we have a puppy!! I have no pictures on my laptop so you will have to head over to my twitter to get your cute fix

I have no idea how to finish this post but if I don't stop now it will be a full scale novel so laters taters!!

Sunday, 23 March 2014

10 Reasons I'm Not Ready to be a Grown Up

First of all can we take one minute to look at this pretty little graphic I made all by myself? I took the picture on my snazzy new camera, uploaded it, added the text and set it at the correct width. I feel like a little blogging genius (I am not)

Last week I turned 22 and I can now officially sing this catchy little Taylor Swift song but here are 10 reasons I am pretty sure I am not ready to be a grown up!

  1. I just attempted to drink a green tea. It was disgusting and I proceeded to pour it down the sink so it seems the £3 I spent on green tea was rather well spent. I thought as a grown up you were meant to like these crazy things and not crave Diet Coke,
  2. I am rubbish at saving money. I wish wish wish that I had saved enough to afford to move out but I am much too frivolous so at the moment I have a wardrobe full of presents for when I move out - at least you can say I am prepared which is grown up right?
  3. I am currently playing Plants vs Zombies on the Xbox and have just ordered Rayman. I have the Sims loaded on my laptop and also play a lot of Temple Run on my phone. I play games instead of doing important things like housework, uni work and general other grown up tasks
  4. I am scared of foods such as blueberries. The actual thought of eating one creeps me out. I will also say that I don't like a food when the truth is I just don't fancy it or I don't want to try it
  5. I have googled "how to make your boss like you". Instead of just getting on with it I thought google might have the answers, it did not!
  6. I do not wear suitable work attire. In high school I got threatened with exclusion because my skirt was too short and I never wore my blazer, well nothing much has changed!! Short skirts are still around but new additions include bright coloured trousers that look a little like pyjamas and floaty maxi dresses while walking around a print factory.
  7. I do not know how to do a good full face of makeup. I still wear too much eye makeup when I go out. I left the emo stage about 6 years ago - this is not acceptable.
  8. I know nothing about cars or taxes or pensions
  9. My favourite type of crisps are in the shape of a bear, I also have recently purchased Turkey Dinosaurs.
  10. I don't even have the concentration span to think of another thing for this list ... which I kinda guess is another reason why I am not an adult
So there you go 10 little reasons why I am not grown up - how do you consider yourself childish?

P.S. I am also taking part in an A - Z challenge for April, if you would like to join in then all the rules are in this link here

Saturday, 22 March 2014

I Can't Wait for Summer because...

The Daily Tay

I hate wishing my life away and to be honest this winter for me hasn't really been that bad. The weather has been mild and I only crashed my car once because of the ice. But here are some of the reasons I am looking forward to summer:

I want to wear flip flops and summer dresses and not have to wear tights. I can never find a pair of tights without a ladder and finding shoes that go with trousers has been a nightmare.

I have a suprise planned for my sister's birthday. I can't tell you what it is yet as she might read this but seriously guys I am super excited.

Drinking fruit cider in the sun reading a good book sounds like my idea of perfection. It is also considered acceptable to drink during the day - a glass of wine at noon in March - scandalous - a glass of wine at noon in July - normal.

Eating ice cream at the beach will also be acceptable, if not expected. Walks on the beach with my friends little boy will also be enjoyable.

Leaving work when it's dark is super depressing, it feels like you never see a moment of sunlight, so when the lighter evenings come in I will be happy. On a side note who says super in the UK? Me apparently - I even deleted a super from in front of happy - see what the prospect of sun does to me!!

The closer we get to summer the more I am working my way through my Open University Access course and the closer I will be to getting a full degree. It's pretty scary but also really exciting at the same time.

Thanks to Helene In Between and The Daily Tay for reminding me what summer is all about!!

Thursday, 20 March 2014

International Happiness Day

Today is International Happy Day (something I wouldn't have known unless I was on Twitter) and I saw this image on a Jack Will's tweet and absolutely loved it. So today I am going to let you into the things that make me happy.

  • Yes this is a cliche but it's my family and friends that are also going to be top of this list. It's the fact my sister is also my best friend. It's my little brother's cute curly hair. It's the sharing. caring love that they all make me feel.
  • If I see a baby you can pretty much guarantee a smile. If they have chubby little legs and dimples you will literally have to drag me away.
  • I love food. I love looking at pictures of food, I love reading about food, I love eating food, I don't necessarily love what this love does to my body though.
  • On a side note... JELLY BEANS!!
  • Reading makes me happy, well actually it makes me feel a whole shed load of emotions, but the fact that I really enjoy reading makes me happy. 
  • Pinterest - needs no explaining
  • The fact that I am more confident now in who I am than I have ever been. I haven't got all my shit together but I'm not that worried about it. I am working for what I want, working for my own happiness rather than waiting for life to come knocking.
  • Movies - mainly superhero movies as I am massive geek. New Avengers, new Xmen is all coming out soon and I am super excited. Also any film with Jason Statham in.
  • Presents - Yeah I love receiving but my main love is giving. It's the Happy Nothing Days that me and my sister share. It's the random bunch of flowers for my Mum. It's buying your work colleague a chocolate brownie because he's having a bad day.
  • Drinking fruit cider with the sun on your shoulders
  • Road trips singing along to 90's classics and Beyonce
What makes you happy?

Wednesday, 19 March 2014

Coughs & Sneezes Spread Diseases

I am currently on the sofa surrounded by tissues, cough sweets and antibiotics while trying to breath (breathing through my mouth makes me cough, breathing through my nose is near on impossible) and feeling sorry for myself. Doctors have diagnosed a chest infection but to me it feels like the plague. 

The only thing getting me through the days (including naps, ice water and painkillers) are:

Blogs: At the moment I can't read a book, my head feels like it is full of cotton wool so anything that requires me to hold a story line is out, but I am loving reading about other people having fun. My main reason to write a blog is because I enjoy reading others so much and I want that so bad, I want someone to actually look forward to reading what I write, smile, maybe even laugh, at my lame jokes. My favourites at the moment are Two Thirds Hazel, How Sweet It Is and Joy the Baker.

Movies: Monday was the Dark Knight, today is Prometheus. I need them to be big and full of action. I feel like one of these people that only watch movies to see someone get punched in the face and for Tom Hardy's muscles rather than the actual story line or to use any brain cells.

Looking at pictures of food: Two of my favourite blogs at the moment are food blogs and I am currently flicking through Good Food magazines. I have no appetite for food at the moment but when I do I have some recipes I would love to try

Things not to do when ill include attempting to go back to work too early, any kind of strenuous brain work (sorry uni work) or weigh yourself as this may result in tears!! Also you may have noticed I have too many mean girl quotations on this blog but in answer to this...

Monday, 17 March 2014

Just Keep Swimming

I am currently sat at home sucking on ice cubes with a crazy amount of tissues and cough sweets surrounding me feeling very sorry for myself. Yesterdays birthday was very subdued as not very well so spent most of the day asleep on the sofa. 

In yesterday's post I mentioned a lovely card I got from my little friend, I recognised her handwriting on the envelope and couldn't wait to open it as I miss her too much at the moment. She mentioned that she had been finding her final uni year difficult and a bad grade on one module had upset her and at that moment I just wanted to drive for three hours and give her qa hug. It's not easy growing up, it's not easy having confidence that the decisions you are making are the right ones, it's not easy trying to be what you think you should be. Sometimes life's worries just pile up on you and you really aren't sure what to do. 

Recently I have been struggling with work. I used to love what I did and while I had bad days, as everyone does, most of the time I really loved it. However more and more over the past couple of months the bad days had outnumbered the good. I felt very alone at work, felt that no one understood me there, felt I was giving my all and getting nothing in return. Looking back now it wasn't true but I had struggled adapting to some recent changes. I was looking for a new job without any idea as to what I wanted. I had stumbled into my current career but did I want to carry on the same path if I wasn't enjoying it? When I had been looking for jobs before it has taken me 6 months and it was the most soul destroying time of my life. It was the constant rejection and if I had to go through that again I don't know what I would do. I basically had a massive breakdown to my boss (really not recommended!!) and realised my problem wasn't work, my problem was me. I was expecting too much of myself, trying too hard and not giving myself enough time to just breath. I'm working on it.

Sometimes you just have keep your head up and just keep swimming even though it feels like you are drowning. What do you struggle with?

Sunday, 16 March 2014

Sunday Stuff

Today is my birthday and I have been thoroughly spoilt already. This week has been filled with food: curries, sweet potato fries and apple pie to name a few and I have a beautiful cake and a meal at Wagamamas to come. Why is it when you are happy life has to figuratively kick you in the balls by giving you the nastiest cough?!?! I sound like a 40 a day male smoker and last night clubbing was made much more difficult as everytime they set the smoke machines off I nearly died!!

I am so lucky that my parents got me a new camera. I have a Fujifilm Finepix S6800 which I believe is called a " bridge camera" (not quite as many options as a DSLR but a few more things you can control than a standard click and point) Today's post's pictures were taken with my trusty iPhone as usual but hopefully you will start to see some improvement and if you have any tips then I am really willing to learn!!

Because of this nasty cough I also haven't been to the gym this week. Bad me!! I must get back to it this week but getting the motivation back is always hard. Do you have any tips to get back into exercising?

The card pictured above was sent to me from one of my best friends from uni in Lincoln made me cry. I miss her so much and one of her comments in her beautiful letter has inspired a post which I will be sharing with you this week.

This week I made flapjack, lemon drizzle cake, rocky road and chocolate brownies for work which all went down a treat even though I managed to burn the brownies and my lemon drizzle didn't really work :( Will share recipes during the week!!

This card from my sister made me laugh more than it should have, she knows my sense of humour too well!!

Saturday, 15 March 2014

Television Confessions

I have never seen an episode of Sex & the City and I don't like Carrie Bradshaw. From what pictures/gifs/quotes I have seen (mainly on other people's blogs and on Pinterest) I don't think she's a particularly good role model and if I knew a Carrie Bradshaw I would smack her upside the head for being so egotistical.

Like what does this even mean?!?! What are you even saying?!? Are you on crack?!?

I am probably not making any friends here either but I also don't really get the F.R.I.E.N.D.S phenomenon. I know some people love it but most of the time I don't even know what's going on. All they seem to do is drink coffee out but never drink coffee at home, and I never know who is having sex with who at any given time and I just don't get it!!

I fast forward sex scenes when I watch recorded TV by myself. They make me uncomfortable. However I have sat and watched a very graphic programme about porn with my Dad and wasn't fazed at all!

I watch a lot of gory murder programmes with no squeamishness at all however as soon as One Born Every Minute comes on I am out of there!! Stop saying the word cervix woman!!

Are there any TV programmes that you just don't get when everyone else seems to love them? Do you have any weird TV habits?

P.S It's my birthday tomorrow!! So tonight, while I am feeling pretty ill, I will be doing myself some of this!!

Friday, 14 March 2014

A Glass Of Water Pretty Please

Does anyone else find it strange when you realise a personality trait that you didn't know you had?

Well tonight I realised I'm passive aggressive. My name is Toyota and I'm addicted to making underhand veiled sarcastic comments. 

Yes I did write this post less than a week ago complaining about veiled digs on Facebook and I still stick by this. I don't do it and hopefully I never will. My problem is that no matter how poor your customer service is, I will be perfectly polite about it and I will even leave you a tip. Take 15 minutes to bring me a glass of water (which I ask for twice!) and while I will complain to my friends about possibly dying of thirst when you bring that much needed water I will still thank you profusely. Be generally rude, have no idea about your own menu, keep touching my glass (which is still half full of the water you took half a lifetime to bring me) while you sort out the bill and my friend will fill in the survey about your customer service being poor but we will run away just in case you see it before we leave!!

Yeah I'm also scared of confrontation. Dammit I'm a mess!!!

Tuesday, 11 March 2014

Brains of Britain?

Me and the girls are quizzing tonight but to be honest this doesn't really bode well. I will let you into some of the comments:

When eating crocodile:
"Because crocodile is a fish right?"

When playing Trivial Pursuit:
"India's biggest export is .... berries" - There were two cards together. No one questioned this answer for too long!!

When watching Woman in Black with Daniel Radcliffe:
"Use your wand Harry!!" - This one was under the influence of wine

The problem is one of us is training to be a teacher, most of us are working towards a degree and these comments are just the tip of the iceberg. Wish us luck!!

Sunday, 9 March 2014

Sunday Stuff

Getting back to work after a long weekend off was very difficult. While my body clock still woke me up at 7.30am each morning, that Monday morning alarm hurt my soul.

On the theme of giving up this week I have recently felt like giving up my small Sunday job but to be honest the money is helpful and the people lovely so at this moment in time I feel that sacrificing those three hours on a Sunday is still something I can do. Recently I have struggled to find the balance but after reading this blog post I have felt much better.  

I have been to the gym zero times this week. I have too many excuses but most of them involve the fact I am too lazy and too tired. I have heard a lot of people talk about the Insanity challenge and looking at these people's results is amazing but I lack self motivation so I think this would be a big waste of money for me.

On the food side I have done much less cooking than I intended. I cooked this dish but had little success mainly due to the fact that I tried to cook this with very little measuring of the ingredients involved. I also think that as I was cooking in a bad mood this also didn't help. It will definitely be one I try again but once I have invested in some good ol' American measuring cups.

This week I treated myself in New Look to some new boots, new heels and and new pink jumper. It's typical that I finally decide to buy boots as the weather starts to warm up. I'm also not sure pink is my colour.

Next week is my birthday and I'm not even excited yet. Who am I?!?!?  
What have you been up to this week?

Saturday, 8 March 2014

Rage Against The Blog - Petty Facebook S#*t

Now don't get me wrong I really like Facebook and I admit I am someone that uses it as a source of information, entertainment and just general banal statuses. I love pictures of people's babies, I don't mind gym updates or declarations of love to boyfriends of five minutes and I put up with people's complaints because I've done it too. But what really annoys me is people using their statuses as a poorly veiled dig at someone. They want that person to know that they are annoyed with them, they know that they have bitched about it enough behind the other person's back that all their friends know who it is and it's just pathetic. I would say these people need to grow up but these people are adults with mortgages, grown up children and have been considered grown up for over 30 years.

It makes me want to act childish and retaliate. Write a status along the lines of "some people can't deal with the consequences of their actions" but I'm not going to. What makes it much harder is that it's not me that they have upset, it's my Mum and, as I'm sure you will agree, you can say what you want about me but as soon as you start on the family well you don't want to witness the shit storm that will ensue.

Facebook should be a place for friends so if you don't want to be friends with a person anymore then unfriend them, don't post statuses about how much you hate them. Sometimes I wish I lived in a world where the only bitching that could happen was in person not over the big bad internet and I also wish I still believed that bitchiness stopped in high school!

Thursday, 6 March 2014

I'm A Student, Don't You Know?

When I finished my A Levels I didn't go to university and in some ways I really regretted it. I am one of those people who say that you shouldn't regret your life choices and if I had gone to university I wouldn't currently be working in a career I really enjoy 99% of the time but that still meant I wanted a degree. In December I decided to bite the bullet and I applied for an Access Course in a view to lead to a full degree in Humanities taking the English Literature & History route.

Yes I was terrified!! I am still terrified!! I've been working on my Access course for over a month now and I must admit I am finding it easier than I thought I would. I hadn't forgotten it all since my English Literature A Level, I still hate iambic pentameter and can still quote William Blake's The Tyger.

So obviously I am so hard working that I am sitting here telling you about how studious I am. I mean I obviously use my time so wisely now that I am currently trying to work 45 hours a week and then get a degree at the same time that I do not read random articles on Buzzfeed (like this one). And I am obviously the most intelligent person in the world!

But I love it and I can't wait to carry on!! Are you currently doing an Open University degree or even just thinking about it? If you are thinking about it, you should do it!!

Wednesday, 5 March 2014

Sunny Southwold

I am very lucky that this beautiful view is literally 5 minutes away from work and today with the beautiful weather I decided to actually take my lunch hour and spend some time drinking hot chocolate and enjoy the sea breeze.

If I hadn't already had dinner planned one of these pies would be in my belly right now!! They looked delicious and will definitely be on the menu at some point this month

This cheeky little beggar came to say hi, (I'm sure he could smell the chocolate brownie I had in my handbag) but as I am absolutely terrified of birds I freaked out a little!

Sorry for the massive photo dump, just had to share my lovely lazy lunch. Sometimes a break is needed from the office to just take a breath of fresh air, realise all that's good in the world and just be grateful for the place you live.

How did you enjoy today's lovely weather?

Monday, 3 March 2014

Giving Up, Not Giving In

Sometimes giving up is your best option and while that's difficult to admit sometimes, it's true. So here is my list of things I'm glad I gave up:

On that particular guy:
 - He was the love of my very short life and in our time together I had convinced myself he was my one and only and then obviously he left me. I held out hope for him much longer than I care to admit so in the end finally giving up on him was just a massive relief.

 - I was awful. It took me four years to get to Grade Two and I massacred every piece I ever played!! When my music teacher moved to China (not because against my crimes against music I promise!) this was the sign I needed to to move on

- Firstly you cannot be a twenty one year old ballet dancer unless you are a professional and secondly tutus do not suit anyone over four stone.

- I'm glad I gave up blogging. There, I said it. It had become something that I didn't enjoy anymore. I felt like I had nothing to say and no one wanted to hear it anyway but giving up made me realise how much I missed it so here I am!! 

Sunday, 2 March 2014

Chronicles Begin...Again

Hey my beauties.

Yes I know, I know, it's been a while but yeah sometimes life just gets busy, so lets just start again and pretend this is the first time that I have inundated you with my crazy greetings and get down to an old fashioned introduction.

I'm Toyota, nice to meet you, how do you do and all that jazz.

I will let you into a secret...

I do not have all the answers, my life is not perfect. Shock horror I know but why is it that as a child you assume that as an adult you will have life perfectly in order? You will be married by the age of 20, happily living on a diet of cocktails and salad, jogging with a toddler in a pushchair and a baby strapped to your back to your perfectly white pristine house. 

Or not

I'm single, living with my parents and still eating turkey dinosaurs.

So this blog will be a bit of my life and my struggle for the answers as a twenty something living in the real world in (hopefully) a humorous way.

I work (too much), eat (too much also) and play (hard but not enough) while working my way through a university degree. So come drop by and we will work through the crazy together.

Much love