Monday, 17 March 2014

Just Keep Swimming

I am currently sat at home sucking on ice cubes with a crazy amount of tissues and cough sweets surrounding me feeling very sorry for myself. Yesterdays birthday was very subdued as not very well so spent most of the day asleep on the sofa. 

In yesterday's post I mentioned a lovely card I got from my little friend, I recognised her handwriting on the envelope and couldn't wait to open it as I miss her too much at the moment. She mentioned that she had been finding her final uni year difficult and a bad grade on one module had upset her and at that moment I just wanted to drive for three hours and give her qa hug. It's not easy growing up, it's not easy having confidence that the decisions you are making are the right ones, it's not easy trying to be what you think you should be. Sometimes life's worries just pile up on you and you really aren't sure what to do. 

Recently I have been struggling with work. I used to love what I did and while I had bad days, as everyone does, most of the time I really loved it. However more and more over the past couple of months the bad days had outnumbered the good. I felt very alone at work, felt that no one understood me there, felt I was giving my all and getting nothing in return. Looking back now it wasn't true but I had struggled adapting to some recent changes. I was looking for a new job without any idea as to what I wanted. I had stumbled into my current career but did I want to carry on the same path if I wasn't enjoying it? When I had been looking for jobs before it has taken me 6 months and it was the most soul destroying time of my life. It was the constant rejection and if I had to go through that again I don't know what I would do. I basically had a massive breakdown to my boss (really not recommended!!) and realised my problem wasn't work, my problem was me. I was expecting too much of myself, trying too hard and not giving myself enough time to just breath. I'm working on it.

Sometimes you just have keep your head up and just keep swimming even though it feels like you are drowning. What do you struggle with?

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