Saturday, 31 May 2014

9 Reasons I'm a Nightmare

1. I am on a diet but there was a fair in town so instead of having any willpower I consumed approximately 9 million calories in candyfloss. As a child your parents don't buy you candyfloss but with an adult with my own money I thought it was a good idea. An afternoon at a computer at work proved this was a bad idea, a really bad idea.

2. At the age of 22 I got told off for swearing too much. Being told off for swearing when you are 15 is pretty funny, seven yeas later it feels even funnier but its even more inappropriate to laugh.

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3. Playing "Snog, Marry, F*$k, Dessert Island" and picking the person with the most money to marry is probably a dickish move but hey a girl has needs! And they include shoes.

4. Today I purchased a newspaper for the first time, it was for the sole purpose of papier mache. 

5. I haven't brushed my hair today or actually even taken it down since last night. I also have the remnants of last nights carefully crafted cats eye eyeliner as a kind of poor girl's smoky eye .

6. Aforementioned eyeliner was already smudged down my face - my best friend said cum last night and I laughed so much I cried - I'm mature. He also doesn't know where his own mouth finishes when he threw his drink down himself - I laughed more. I can tell you this because he doesn't read this unless I tell him I have posted about him and for once I am going to keep quiet. (Although I could turn this post very easily into 9 reasons he is a nightmare!)

7. Instead of doing more uni work before my tutorial on Thursday (which I initially though was on Wednesday so didn't go to the gym) to be prepared, I cooked fish fingers and watched Springwatch. I then forgot about said fish fingers while I had this tutorial and burnt them.

8. I cooked a chicken last week and didn't close the oven door properly. Chicken was mildly warm after nearly 2 hours, if dead chickens have feelings this one would have felt like it was sunning itself in Great Yarmouth.

9. Instead of doing uni work now I am writing this post... NIGHTMARE!!

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