She's a Killer Queen, Gunpowder, Gelatine, Dynamite with a Laser Beam

In no way am I a great chef. When I was little I wanted to be a cooker, it was years before my parents explained to me the difference between a kitchen appliance and someone who actually cooks food, I think they are the reason that I am now often classified as a bimbo!!

But not as dumb as this I promise!!

However I do love to cook and unfortunately my family do have to put up with my disasters. I always know that something I have made is crap the more my mum tells me it's really nice. She's my biggest cheerleader but she is also a bad liar! Yesterday I made Jamie Oliver's "Killer Jerk Chicken" and I would completely agree with the term killer i.e. I now have no tastebuds left as it was so spicy!!

It looks very unappetising and nothing like the picture in the book. I'm blaming that on the fact that he use chicken breasts with skin on and they are ridiculously expensive so I didn't bother. Also blaming it on the crazy pattern of the plate that it was on. I'm sure the first rule of photographing food is to use a white plate!!

 Its always difficult cooking for my family because you actually have to cook as if you are Jesus feeding the five thousand without his abillity to multiply fish and bread. So as these feeds 4 people in Jamie's book and he used 1 scotch bonnet chilli, I used 2 normal red chillis, simple maths hey but oh my god I wanted to rip out my own tongue, it hurt!

Umm so maybe not this one again!!

As a side note in no way am I a great dancer either as this horrific picture proves (yes I know I am now sharing it on my blog but it's already on Facebook and I've even left myself tagged in). What the actual f*!k am I doing?!? And what song was on to warrant these moves?!? And when the heck did my dress become so short?!? I swear it was longer before I left the house. Life's mysteries I guess or the fact that I had probably just consumed two tequila shots, we will never know!