Nobody Moving On

Mr Nobody is in a relationship and before you ask no its not with me.

Yes I had convinced myself that I didn't care about him, that a relationship isn't what I wanted but surely something meaningful is always what you have your heart set on. Yes he had never said otherwise that he might be interested in me but he always said that he wasn't ready for a relationship giving me that small grain of hope that when he may decide that he was ready that person would be me.

But he stopped talking to me and I decided to stop making an idiot of myself. So I actually followed my own advice, I blocked him on Facebook chat and deleted his number. When he says that you are friends but doesn't even want to talk to me when he is getting it on with someone else obviously means that we weren't friends.

And then, once again, there it is "Mr Nobody is in a relationship with ..." and it hurts more than I care to tell you. Because this isn't the first time, my ex boyfriend did this to me too and now I hate everything to do with announcing your relationship on Facebook. I know its not about me for either Mr Nobody or my ex but for me it's always about me. Of course they aren't going to sit there and think about whether it will hurt me and of course they aren't going to care. 

And then I do the petty thing of comparing my life to a girl on Facebook who I have never met. Of course I can never life up to her, the life you show on Facebook doesn't include the times you sit at home alone or the outfits where you look awful or the time you ate a whole cake to yourself. 

So once again, I'm alone and I can say the cliched thing that I'm happy that way but I'm not so what do you say then?

At least I have my friends?

When???

When are you meant to water tomato plants? I am not green fingered at all but I really want to grow my own vegetables, I have planted them out into the soil but I am very worried that I am going to murder them. My track record isn't very good with plants to be honest, I killed both my basil, mint and parsley plants within a week of each other. I think its because I forget to water things, I need a cactus!!

When is not ok to still have feelings for your ex? We broke up 2 years ago and we have nearly been apart for as long as we were together. I'm not sure it's feelings for him as such but just feelings of loneliness and missing having a special someone in my life. Mr Nobody is a no go anymore, I just can't do it to myself and I think this is what has brought on the feelings of needed someone. I also saw my ex at the beach yesterday with his new girlfriend which will always be awkward.

When will I stop caring what other people think? Is it something that happens as you get older or is it just programmed into your personality? Either you do care or you don't and I am definitely someone that cares. It just feels so high school if you know what I mean!!

When will I get more followers? Do you guys not like me? *insert sad face here* Told you I care too much!!

Why????

Why is a 15 year old singing a song called Lighters and telling people to put their lighters in the air?? She can't even buy a lighter, she's 15!!! Why is she complaining about losing the love of her life?? They can't have been seriously together for more than a year, maybe I'm just jealous because I didn't have a record deal at 15

Why am I so bored? I'm that bored that I just want to go to bed but then that just means that another day of work comes around quicker and I do not want that

Why are the girls in Robin Thicke's video so damn attractive? And why are they flaunting how much skinnier than me in my face by wearing bloody clear plastic shorts? What's the point of wearing them? They can't be comfortable and just encourage girl's who shouldn't have that much flesh on show to squeeze into short shorts that are smaller than my knickers

Why is Mr Nobody not talking to me? Am I not attractive anymore and why am I even worried about this? Of course he only talks to me when it suits him, it's always been that way so why would it be any different? Maybe its because I'm talking about him on my blog and he's found out and now he thinks I'm a creepy stalker!! Why am I such an overthinker??