F is for Felix

This little bugger is Felix, my pet hell cat. He woke me up this morning at 4am fighting some small animal, I have often found dead or semi dead animals in my room as "presents" from him but look at those eyes, what can you do?

Animals aren't usually my thing so you are probably thinking, why do you have a pet? I love him, not in the crazy way that some people love their pets but he isn't really very affectionate to me either! But if we are being honest, well he wasn't really my choice.

He was my ex boyfriend's but when we broke up I couldn't let him take him. It wasn't out of spite, as much as sometimes I tell this as the story, it was because he had always lived here in the countryside, how could he cope in the town? How would he kill rabbits and be the boss of two dogs? But I guess also I couldn't let him take anymore away from me (the ex boyfriend that is, not Felix)

Beauty Review - Rimmel Lasting Finish Fancy a Dip?

I have never been a nail person and you'll be lucky if you can see my nails go past the end of my fingers. I also spend three hours a week with my hands in hot soapy water so don't think I am going to called up to be a hand model!! Recently though I am really into nail polishes, especially pastel shades (mainly brought on by jealousy of a girl at work - she has lemon yellow nails and a lemon yellow satchel - I could not be this co-ordinated with a month of planning).

I picked up this beautiful shade from Tesco for a bargain of £2.99 and decided after work today to paint my nails. I am really pleased with the the colour, it reminds me of cornflowers and Spring and actually makes my skin look relatively tanned. However I really didn't like the application - some nails seemed to paint really well and cover in a couple of coats, whereas others have gone a bit blotchy and I have had to take off and start again on one nail in particular. Like I said I am no expert but haven't had any other problems with other times. However so in love with the colour I'm going to persevere. 

I would also like to say a massive congratulations to my best friend on completing the Lincoln 10k today in just over an hour for such an excellent cause. You go girl!! You can still donate here

E is for Eccentricities

Eccentricities! One of my favourite words that I don't think is used enough and to be honest one of my favorite things to discuss. Eccentricities used to be the choice of rich Victorians, like "Don't mind Uncle Tom, he's a bit eccentric, he just likes to eat children." But now I personally associate the word with the little quirks and traits that make you who you are. I like to let the crazy out but defining it as crazy.... well it makes you sound a little crazy. I was speaking to a girl on Twitter who said she was scared to post personal things on her blog because people she knows read her blog but seriously what is a blog if not personal?!?

I'm going to let you into some of my eccentricities (not all of them obviously, we would be here for like 4 months and well I might get admitted to a psychiatric hospital) in a hope that you too might feel a bit more comfortable letting the crazy out.

- I have to eat a sandwich in a certain way and seeing someone else eating a sandwich the wrong way makes me very angsty. If someone makes me a sandwich incorrectly I find it very difficult to eat

- I do not like to drink the bottom of a drink - yes it is all exactly the same but in my head it is not!

- I often have feelings of impending doom, especially just before I am trying to sleep. I then can spend hours rehashing every mistake I have made in my life. To stop this I have to pretend I am someone else.

- I am scared of a lot of things - blueberries, earthworms, horses, zombie apocalypses

- I take stupid pictures of myself and post them on the internet

D is for Dating

I am pretty sure dating is a myth made up by the movies. I have never been on a real date, have no idea how to get myself a date and would have no idea how to act on a date. This sounds pretty tragic even to me!! 

I thought that at my age I would be going out, meeting people, deciding whether or not these were the people for me - instead I spend most of my life working and the rest of it chilling at home. I would love to meet new people but I have no idea how. I think its even harder when you live in a rural area, I can't just pop out to the pub or to an event. Going out takes major planning. It also doesn't help that new people scare me a little bit, I know they say they don't bite but what if they do and what if they have rabies?!? They might not like my craziness or the fact that I am perpetually late for everything!! They might think I'm fat or ugly or stupid or I might develop an unexplained instant hatred of them (which does happen when I meet some people)

I tried online dating but only got as far as chatting to people online before it absolutely terrified me. Speaking to these strangers was too much, I could not meet any of them!! But to be honest I feel like I am ready to find someone to be in a relationship with, well at least ready to do some test driving. The thing is I'm scared of people needing me, of people relying on me and also scared of needing someone else (and yeah this post is getting much more deep than intended!!)

I want this. I want someone to feel this way about me!!

C is for Cheery

This blog post has been called many things today but then I saw this link up from two of my favourite bloggers and knew that I had to join in!!

So this is 32 things that make me cheery

1. Jason Statham

2. Spaghetti Carbonara

3. Planning surprises 

4. Seeing my besties (even though I don't see them often enough - being a grown up suck sometimes)

5. Photography

6. Spending time with this little cutie

7. David Attenborough

8. Being good at something - whether it's work, uni stuff or just making a good cup of tea I like to achieve

9. Flowers - mainly sunflowers or tulips

10. Waving

11. Disney movies - my favourite being Dumbo

12. Fruit cider

13. A good book

14. Dreaming that doesn't involve murder 

15. Beating my high score on 2048

16. The word "sparkle" - I have sparkle tourettes

17. Mean girls - the movie not mean people - that would be silly

18. Dancing in a club and totally not caring who sees you slut drop

19. The fact that I just said totally in that previous reason

20. Learning new things - optional week on my course is Italian - I am so bad it's almost funny

21. Elephants

22. Pinterest

23. Hot chocolate with cream, marshmallows and a flake

24. Blogging

25. Birthdays

26. Printed leggings - stretch and pretty - what more could you want?!?!

27. Pastel nail polish- especially when matched with a pastel satchel

28. Pugs

29. When life bites that certain someone in the arse and you are just like "yeah suck it!"

30. Happy Nothing Days

31. Hearing someone say something nice about you

32. Writing lists of things that make me cheery

Thanks Erin and Sarah from saving me from blogger's block!!

B is for Blogging

This little mess is my desk and this mess is represents all my blogging and University work all piled into one crazy bundle which is basically my life at the moment. I started blogging just over a year ago but have given up twice and now when my life is at its busiest I decided to start again.

Blogging is a crazy world. It feels almost unreal. It's hard to explain to people and that look you get when people just don't get it is one I have seen a few times. The thing is I love people reading my blog but I also find it really hard to talk about in real life. My blog isn't about anything - I don't do beauty or crafts or anything particularly useful - so I think it's more difficult to explain to people. Reading blogs is a weird one too - trying to explain how you read this thing on someone's blog about a product or a place or just a funny story is infinitely more problematic than if you had heard the story in real life not blog world.

It's hard not to get addicted to the numbers - to the number of followers or page views. It's hard not to get jealous of the people who's blogs seem to bloom in an instant whereas you slowly plod away at yours. Its hard not to get desperate for followers - to start to pretend you are something you are not - when the only reason you started your blog is to be yourself and to have fun.

Sometimes it's hard to know what to say. Sometimes you are worried you have revealed too much and sometimes worried you haven't revealed enough, that any lifeless droid could have written that post. I worry more about my grammar and spelling on my blog than I do in professional emails. I am writing blog posts at 10.30pm at night, I plan blog posts in my lunch hour, I think of ideas when driving, I see blog pictures wherever I go - it consumes my life and I love it.

A is for Amy

Amy - my beautiful nanny who unfortunately was taken from us thirteen years ago this month. For anyone to be taken is too soon but she was young and so were we.

To her loving grandchildren she was known as Nanny Spoil Me. 

She was always the lady in red to me, always immaculate. She had a strawberry mark on her leg that you could always faintly see under her nude tights. Nude tights will always remind me of her. As will drawing dogs using your thumb (you bend your thumb, drawn around it and the knuckle becomes the ear) - this is literally the only thing she could draw. Her stick people were always wonky and every animal looked the same whether it was a cow, pig or cat. There is so much more I wish I could remember. I hate how memories fade. 

Pear drops make me think of her. I can't smell one without a bitter sweet smile.

I have one of her hats on top of my wardrobe. I sometimes put it on and laugh - I am not a hat person.

I'm not really sure what I believe in but because of her I hope that she has the ability to look down on all that has passed without her and be proud of what has been achieved.